the prints you leave behind on the beach


resilience: the ability to recover quickly from setbacks

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

momentary lapse of reason

I experienced this only awhile ago, and was since then overwhelmed so much that I had to blog it.

*

I called home from the office at approximately 8.30pm today to ask if Mom could give me a lift home. Nobody picked up. I called her on her cell and she didn't hear it ring.

So trying my luck, I buzzed my grandmother's house, and my 13-year-old cousin sister Rachel picked up. I told her I'm ready to go home. She told me my mom would be on her way.

I walked to the foyer and awaited the dark green Toyota to appear with its familiar engine whirring.

*

Rachel was in the car with Mom. The girl waved frantically at me from the front window, pressing her other hand against the window. She's grown so much, I thought. I had to remind myself over and over again that she is no longer that little brat crying every few minutes at the baby chair screaming for attention and throwing everything she could lay her hands on and everyone within her eye's scope. She's blooming into a beautiful young lady, slowly stepping up the ladder of maturity.

And yet there she was, with childlike gladness she greeted me. It has been ages since I've spent a minute with my cousins. I decided immediately that I missed them.

Mom then told me that she was kidnapping me to my grandmother's house, where my brother's still at. Don't get me wrong - I love going there and spending time with (certain) members of my family, but when you've had a long day (and a crazy almost-sleepless night before) and you're all tired out, all you ever want to do is to go home and flop your fat body on the bed and never dream of assignments ever again.

But there I was in the car, with a very chatty and enthusiastic Rachel - who was going on and on and on about fashion and hairstyling, being that typical growing teenager she is - sitting there and trying very hard to seem interested. Deep down inside I was overwhelmed with fatigue and dread, knowing that I have to drag myself to my grandmother's house when all I wanted to do was go home, take a nice shower and indulge myself in the X Men DVDs I made Meng Yoe lend me.

When the car stopped in front of the red gate, I didn't want to step out at all.

*

I eventually did.

Rachel got out of the car and rushed to my side, linking her arm with mine. That little girl smelt like Dove. [I recall her asking me and my elder cousin Li Lian what shampoo we used, and we both used Dove then. I guess it's only natural that she wanted to follow the bigger sisters eh] The girl dragged me to the door when she shouted, "LIYENG IS HERE!!!"

A little face peeped through the curtains. It was Ben, my 8 year old cousin.

"LIYENG!!!" he shrieked.

The boy scrambled to unlock the door and literally POUNCED upon me, planting kisses all over my face.

That very moment, my heart melted. To a pulp.

After awhile of goo-goo-gaa-gaaing over each other, my beloved little cousin brought me into the house, where the biggest heartwrenching moment awaited me.

*

My cousin Jonathan Goh and I have been enemies and good friends in the past. I used to hate him, and him me. We became very very good friends during his early teenage years. He's always looked up to me as the big sister whom he can identify with, and I'd be naturally protective over him over little little matters - even if my aunt reprimands him for something he's done, it would be natural for me to, you know... comfort the dude. It isn't always you find someone whom you grew up together who respects you and subtly expects you to protect him/her in return. It's a relationship different from that I share with my brother.

I went in and there was just a certain glow to his face - the way he lighted up and the smile which just swept across his face.

"Liyeng! I finally SEE you!"

It wasn't something he does often. Albeit being extroverted, this dude seldom shows much emotion to people. From his face, I could conclude that he was deeply overwhelmed by my visitation, and the joy was too much that he couldn't contain it.

Or, rather, I was overwhelmed with the same joy written all over the faces of my three silly cousins.

*

On the way home, Mom explained to me her reason to why she kidnapped me to my grandmother's house. When I called the house, my cousin sister sounded like it was no big deal hearing from me. But when she put the phone down, she was jumping excitedly all over. Jonathan heard, and literally begged Mom to drag me there no matter what. He wanted to come, but was already in his PJ's. Benjamin was in the bathroom when all these were happening, so he was puzzled as to why my mom suddenly left the house with Rachel.

On the way out of the house, John actually went up to my mom to thank her for bringing me to visit them.

When I heard all these, I nearly most burst into tears.

*

I've always despised parents who get too caught up in their work to take even a minute to talk to their kids. I didn't know that I've been a culprit of the same crime.

My cousins are the only few beings I've grown up doing all sorts with - played, talked, shared, cried, bullied, watched movies (oh but I miss those Chicken Little and Chronicles of Narnia moments) played some more, fought, jammed, etc - and never in my life have I thought that they could mean so much to me.

It only took one short moment to remind me of their importance, and it changed my life forever.

I've learnt my lesson.

thus said the girl 10:47 pm

Posted by Suit Lin @ 06/02/2006 10:41 AM PDT
:) sweet post
Posted by anne-jo @ 06/01/2006 12:31 PM PDT
basil: hahahha can lah live by your deadlines ya :D and oi you phone battery eater you. consuming electricity like mad heeheehee.

no lah high score still temme right


sharon: eeeeeks you pinch where you
Posted by Sharon @ 06/01/2006 11:35 AM PDT
*pinch *pinch *pinch *
Posted by basil @ 06/01/2006 04:19 AM PDT
weehoo! will send u me articles soon. like. in about a week.

cos after my one test (which i am dreading) the others will b less dreadful (which will leave me time to write about the world cup n how crappy msian sports is).

yesh, miz editer. ayam stardie now. no ken write yo articelz. o n wan mor ting..

ME L33TNEZZ OWNZZ JOO GOLF FONNNNnnnnnnnnnn~!~!~!

gg
||

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